Trump on NaNoWriMo

Donald Trump on NaNoWriMo

I’m good at writing. Believe me. I am good at writing books. I know words, believe me. Big words. Words with meanings. Words with lots and lots of letters.

Those other writers are hacks. They don’t know words. They don’t know sentences. When they’re writing their NaNoWriMo novels they’re not bringing in their best, their brightest. They’re using little words. “Be” verbs. Not adverbs. Not adjectives. They bring in the words that can destroy NaNoWriMo.

But when I finish my novel – and I’m going to write a great big novel. A novel like no one has ever seen. When I finish my novel, they’re not going to be allowed to publish those words. My novel is going to be so big, so bright. I gotta tell ya’. It’s going to be YUGE and they’re going to go back to where they came from and use those little words, those words with no imagination, no style, and self-publish them at Amazon and no one’s going to buy them

But my words will get picked up by every major publishing house. You’ll see. Just watch. I’ve used words all my life. Big words. And I know something about words.

Let’s make NaNoWriMo great again!

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I’ll be on the radio tonight…

Fictional Kevin on the Radio

Tonight I’ll be on Free Thought Radio with Larry Rhodes and Shawnee Casteel at 6pm Eastern time. I’ll be talking about how even atheists can be irrational and suffer from logical fallacies.

I’d love for you to listen in and, possibly, call in.

It will stream live online here:

http://wozoradio.com/listen/

The call in number is (865)333-5937

Hope to “meet” you on the phone tonight.

Kevin

 


Why Bernie is a lot like Trump

Trump Sanders

I’ll bet the title ticked you off, huh?

That’s OK. I figure it’s a pretty divisive title. If you can stifle the fire of your ire for a bit, let’s see if I can defend it, K? Thanks.

When Trump first came on the scene, he made bold claims about what he would do as president. Instantly everyone talked about how he couldn’t do many of those things. You can’t legally require Muslims to register. You can’t deport 11 million people in 2 years. Heck, you can’t even find them in 2 years. The president doesn’t have unilateral authority to do whatever the fuck he wants.

That’s called checks and balances. It’s there, in that Constitution thingy. I read it once.

Most reasonable people realize his bold ideas are unpossible to implement. Either they violate the Constitution, or he could never get them past congress, or they are just, well, unpossible on their face.

But people who support Donald Trump are either blind to these realities or support him for other reasons, like they want a glimpse of the First Lady’s lady bits.

How is this like Grandpa Bernie, the lovable curmudgeon hero of the middle class? Some of you are ahead of me already. For those who took the short bus to the blog, I’ll explain:

While people love to hate Trump, people love The Bern. Sure he smells a little oldmanish, but he makes good points. The wealth gap is a problem. Healthcare is a problem. The middle class is struggling in basic areas.

I agree with him 100% when he identifies the problems. Heck, on some of them, even Trump does.

But think through what he says he is going to do: Single payer healthcare for all. I heard about that once. This black guy came to Washington and sweated bullets to make it happen. In the end, Congress wouldn’t go for it. They won’t go for it with Bernie, either. Not because it’s not a good idea. Not because it doesn’t work well in other countries. Just because they are ideologues. They don’t yet “Feel the Bern.”

(As I side note, I DID feel the Bern. I found it surprisingly leathery and a little sticky. He seemed to enjoy it though.)

How about free college for all? Again, radical move. It would put us on par with other western countries. At least it’s not illegal (I’m looking at you, Trump) but without a complete change in Congress, it’s not going to happen either.

Is it possible Bernie will be elected and then suddenly all the red states (and a few of the blue) will defenestrate their current senators and congressman/women and replace them with Stepford Wife like Bernie Bots? It is possible, it is not remotely likely.

On the Trump side we have bold ideas (whether you agree with him or not, you gotta at least say he says bold things) that cannot in the foreseeable future ever get implemented. On the Bernie side, you see the same. You may like one and not the other, but they’re kinda similar.

I don’t care how you vote. Heck, in most states, how you vote will have no impact on who gets elected president anyway. I live in Tennessee, baring Jesus himself appearing on Bill O’Reilly and endorsing the Democratic nominee, those 10 electoral votes are going to the Elephant in the room.

Just don’t be silly and think Bernie can get the things he wants done much better than Trump can get his. You may like and vote for Bernie for all kinds of good reasons. Getting those things done shouldn’t be some of them.

Feel free to correct me in the comments if you disagree.

 

 


Black and White

republican-presidential-candidates

I see things as black and white.

Never a hint of grey.

I know that it’s a fallacy.

It gets in my way.

I want to see the margin.

Not deal in absolute.

But it seems like jumping out a plane.

Without a parachute.

If things are not just white or black.

If there is room for grey.

I fear the people will attack.

No matter what I say.

So I sit here growing in the polls.

Trying to make a case.

For silly things I know aren’t true.

Just yelling to save face.

On Fox I’ll be a superstar.

Without integrity intact.

I’ll win this election, you will see.

They like white not brown or black.


Cohabitation

Hair

It was unsightly, but not so much that people thought the Host deformed. “His hair looks funny” they would say and leave it at that. A curious comb-over. A consistently bad coif. Nothing more.

But it was more. Much more.

He was alive. He was conscious. He had a purpose, a mission.

For decades he had maneuvered the Host through business deals. Raising the puppet’s profile – their profile – to the world stage. There had been books, television appearances and, for the last decade, television shows. He had done his job well.

He enjoyed the notoriety.

Now his mission was almost complete. Soon his brothers would join him. Soon this tiny planet with its low gravity would be colonized. Soon its inhabitants would be thinned to a reasonable number – enough hosts to maintain the keratin farms and no more. Those would mostly be the females, they would only keep enough males for breeding. Males ate too much and their taste was consistently unpleasant.

As he sat now, perched atop the puffy head and paunchy body, he was satisfied. Just another rotation around this planet’s star and his task would be complete. There, behind the curtain, he made the Host smile the satisfied smile he could only mentally imagine. He amped up the Host’s adrenaline in anticipation of the crowd. The speaker was finishing his introduction.

“…and now, I am honored to present to you the next president of the United States, Donald J. Trump!”