She Died

Mother - Father - Sone

She died.

They found the brain tumor shortly before her 32 birthday and she died before her 33rd. He mourned.  He was angry. Angry with her for dying. Angry at the doctors and chemo and everything they had done to save her. None of it mattered. He was angry with her for dying.

They had been together for eight years. They had a son. She left them alone. Alone. Alone to deal with the world. Sadness. Life went on and she wouldn’t be there, ever again.

He avoided dealing with her “stuff.” Her closet was still full of clothes and shoes. That dress that was “too small” but he loved. Shoes that were “impossible to walk in” but incited his libido.

And, in the back of her closet, were her journals.

During the time they were married he never would have considered reading her journals. They were her private thoughts. Her dreams. Her fears. They were the “real” her.

But now she was dead. The word destroyed him. Never again. Never again would they have anything. Not good nor bad. Just never.

Never plagued him.

After months, he was ready. Ready to read her private thoughts. More than ready. He wanted to know her most intimate thoughts. He wanted to know how she really felt – about him, about their son.

So he read.

He started at the beginning. She was 17. Crushes on boys. Fears about her future. Concerns about algebra.

He skipped to their relationship. “Does he really like me?” “What is he thinking?” Then, “he said he loves me” and “he proposed!”

He cried. He missed her. He wanted to join her, but their son…

Finally, he skipped to her last entries:

“I know you will read this. I loved you always. I will love you and Stephan always. I may be gone, but you will go on and you two will be the me I always wanted to be.”

 

 

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48 Comments on “She Died”

  1. The tears are rolling down my cheeks. You have just captured every wife and mothers worst fear. But at the end, the last four sentences, you also captured the unconditional and overwhelming love too. Absolutely Beautiful. Perfection, Sir.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Heartbreaking. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Souldiergirl says:

    Oh my- this is so sad yet beautiful too.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Rita says:

    Oh Kevin! I’m with Amelia – in tears! So tragically beautiful.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. lbeth1950 says:

    Oh Kevin, this is so heartbreaking. I felt like I knew them both. Thank you. Reblogging.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. lbeth1950 says:

    Reblogged this on Nutsrok and commented:
    Reblogged this amazing post from Fictional Kevn

    Liked by 1 person

  7. ksbeth says:

    so beautiful and sad

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Really lovely. I agree that it was fortunate he found her journals. He can show thier son when he’s older. They will keep her memory alive. — Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Wow. That was sad and beautiful all at once. I write so much that I hope loved ones will one day read. Bravo.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. So sad, so beautiful, so loving. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Heartbreaking but so beautiful at the same time. It would hurt so much…and life has to go on.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. olganm says:

    A very touching story. Thanks so much.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Heartafire says:

    such a poignant text, it moved me very deeply. I despise Cancer and diseases that steal our lives and loved one. Perhaps we will find a cure someday. Thank you for the deep and thoughtful prose.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Nena says:

    I am in tears because this is a reality many face and never expect…never. You captured the emotions perfectly:)

    Liked by 1 person

  15. jncthedc says:

    An incredibly difficult read. Emotions that are experienced too often. Life is beautiful and sad. It’s about making the most in the limited time we have whether it’s days or years or decades.
    Thank you for sharing this true story.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. livedinitaly says:

    Reblogged this on Livedinitaly's Blog and commented:
    Break out the Kleenex.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. livedinitaly says:

    Speechless with tears welling in my eyes.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. This moved me immeasurably. Beautifully written and as stated above, every wife and mother’s fear..leaving those they love to continue on without them.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. drshellking says:

    Beautifully written, albeit difficult to read; perhaps as a result of a recent loss.
    I’m pleased that I came across this specific writing.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. […] I do write some fiction, but seem to do it sporadically these days. I have two novels started: Resurrection and Worship. I even write the occasional micro story, like The Incident or She Died. […]

    Like


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