IntimacyPosted: October 4, 2015
What is intimacy?
I’ve been thinking about this for the last week because of something I experienced and it surprised me.
Last weekend I was in Chattanooga with Waco. She was having a significant health issue. We were in bed, it was the middle of the night.
Over the last year we have shared many exciting, intimate moments. Talking, texting, laughing. Camping, shopping, visiting malls while she pretended to work. Inside jokes. Meeting her kids. Wrapping our feet together in bed. Saying we were “running” when we did the 5K.
This night was different. It wasn’t “fun” or “exciting.” Her body was giving her fits. I was next to her, trying to provide any help I could. Getting crackers and peanut butter. Juice. Setting my alarm every 15 minutes to remind her to check her vitals. Being prepared to take her to the hospital if need be.
I didn’t mind. It didn’t occur to me to mind. I just wanted to care for her completely in any way possible. I knew I couldn’t “fix” things, but I could be there. Lessen the pain at least emotionally. Let her know she wasn’t alone.
She recovered like she always does and bounced back. We made love the next morning before she showered and put on that amazing blouse of hers I love before heading off to work.
Pondering the weekend after I returned home caused me to realize something about myself I hadn’t realized before: Lovingly caring for another person is more intimate for me than almost anything else. More than shared experiences, more than sex. It’s something I need in my life.
I don’t need to be with someone who has chronic health issues, but I need to be with someone who can tell by the things I do how much I care. Providing them with meaningful experiences. Loving experiences.
It nourishes my soul.
Maybe real intimacy is not about the good times. Not about the sex. Not even about the verbal communication. Maybe real intimacy is when you know someone has your back, no matter what, and is going to be there for you.