What is intimacy?

I’ve been thinking about this for the last week because of something I experienced and it surprised me.

Last weekend I was in Chattanooga with Waco. She was having a significant health issue. We were in bed, it was the middle of the night.

Over the last year we have shared many exciting, intimate moments. Talking, texting, laughing. Camping, shopping, visiting malls while she pretended to work. Inside jokes. Meeting her kids. Wrapping our feet together in bed. Saying we were “running” when we did the 5K.

This night was different. It wasn’t “fun” or “exciting.” Her body was giving her fits. I was next to her, trying to provide any help I could. Getting crackers and peanut butter. Juice. Setting my alarm every 15 minutes to remind her to check her vitals. Being prepared to take her to the hospital if need be.

I didn’t mind. It didn’t occur to me to mind. I just wanted to care for her completely in any way possible. I knew I couldn’t “fix” things, but I could be there. Lessen the pain at least emotionally. Let her know she wasn’t alone.

She recovered like she always does and bounced back. We made love the next morning before she showered and put on that amazing blouse of hers I love before heading off to work.

Pondering the weekend after I returned home caused me to realize something about myself I hadn’t realized before: Lovingly caring for another person is more intimate for me than almost anything else. More than shared experiences, more than sex. It’s something I need in my life.

I don’t need to be with someone who has chronic health issues, but I need to be with someone who can tell by the things I do how much I care. Providing them with meaningful experiences. Loving experiences.

It nourishes my soul.

Maybe real intimacy is not about the good times. Not about the sex. Not even about the verbal communication. Maybe real intimacy is when you know someone has your back, no matter what, and is going to be there for you.


30 Comments on “Intimacy”

  1. ramexa says:

    Real intimacy is all about trust. Unwavering trust.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is incredibly lovely, Sir. You have described TRUE intimacy perfectly. It has NOTHING to do with sex. It’s about a mutual entwining of two people, their life, love, sexuality, troubles, trust and commitment. You can fuck anyone, but intimacy comes along rarely and MUST be cherished. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Nena says:

    Intimacy = “Into Me See”:) Very beautiful.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. […] I mentioned in a previous post, she is dealing with some chronic health issues. She is amazingly strong and refuses to let those […]

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m reblogging this tomorrow, I think it fits into my month of romance very well. Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Reblogged this on LadiesWhoLunchReviews,etc and commented:
    This is a lovely post from Fictional Kevin about intimacy that I hope you’ll enjoy as much as I did. And please check out his blog for some wonderfully entertaining and romantic writing.


  7. Most people do not have the insight on intimacy that you do. I have had many talks with my grown son’s about this issue. I plainly asked what it meant to them. They each replied well mom it is having sex with someone you love. (their dad had same response….it is no wonder I left him after 25 years of marriage lol). So, I had to have a deep conversation with each of them and all they did was listen. But, at least I did my job and educated them on the issue. Now a different take on the subject… soulfriend Paula and I are very intimate with each other. Do we have sex or even anything sexual at all? No!!! So, can you be intimate with another human being period? My answer is YES!!!! My opinion only. Great post and happy blogging!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Reblogged this on nananettie1969 and commented:
    Read this and give it some thought please! Can you have intimacy without having sex? What does intimacy mean to you? Can you have intimacy with someone you have no sexual contact with at all? This is a great post on intimacy.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Wonderful post. Found it on Diane’s blog this morning. Really, my idea of intimacy is the joining of hearts and minds, not just bodies. I think you’ve expressed that beautifully. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. amanpan says:

    Beautiful insight into intimacy. Sincerely caring for someone else is very fulfilling.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Little Voice says:

    This brought tears to my eyes as I recall the relationship I shared with my husband, who died 12 years ago. The most intimate times we had were when we were just being together. Thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Amy says:

    Yes, when I met my husband he was on the other side of a broken marriage to a selfish person. The simplest act of caring about his day and checking in meant so much. What I didn’t realize was how much his appreciation would mean to me. It’s a new level of intimacy. Great post.

    Liked by 1 person

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