My Johnny

Nobody understands

What I see

Why I am willing

What I get despite what I don’t

Living in the void for the rare glimpse of your amazing

Lonely in the midst of a relationship

Maybe I’m a fool for loving you

But you’re my Johnny

You live in moments

You want what you want when you want

No time, no thought for another

Out of site, out of mind

I quit trying to catch your eye

Deciding to wait instead for your eventual gaze

Like a lighthouse, making its round

Longing for your beacon to be on me once again

Because you’re my Johnny

Decisions plague me, clawing my mind

Am I willing to go on

Knowing this is who we are

Counting the cost of you

Wanting to be your everything

Knowing I will be your occasional

Just my Johnny

I wait for a commitment

A self-imposed curfew

Coming in at 11 when you could stay out ’till 3

A wild horse willingly submitting to the bridle

Giving your formidable strength to another

Giving up the others

The smiling faces of profiles and flirting

But that’s not coming

Because you’re a Johnny

I believe in Abundance

And all She provides

But Her jokes can be cruel

Testing me with an unavailable wonder

Just out of reach – almost everything

Like grasping a fist full of sand

Trying to hold on to my Johnny

Your heart is only yours and may never belong to another

There are no words to alter the course

I meet your J’s then you’re off again

Looking for what even you don’t understand

I watch you go

Hoping you will return, maybe for good

More than a beautiful moment

With my Johnny


One Comment on “My Johnny”

  1. WOW! Such anguish. Beautiful, Sir.

    Liked by 1 person

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