I’m Lovin’ It?


So this happened…

I went this morning around 9am to pick up breakfast at our fine local McDonald’s. Two Egg McMuffin meals. As I approached the counter…

“You gonna pay by credit card?” the stubby woman behind the counter inquired. I figured their credit card machine was down. “No, I can pay cash.”

“OK, what do you want?”

“Two Egg McMuffin meals, large coffees.”

“Wait a minute – Doris, give me that paper. How much are Egg McMuffin meals?” looking back at me “You said ‘meals,’ right? Not just the sandwiches?”

Doris, handing her a blank piece of paper, “$4.79.”

Stubby looking at Doris: “I can’t do that math, I’ll just charge him $5.”

Me: “Um, I’m not going to pay extra because you can’t do math. How about you charge me $4.50?”

Stubs: “Um…”

Doris: “Here, I have a calculator!”

While Stubs is looking at the calculator in bewilderment, I grab the paper, write down “4.79 x 2 = $9.58” and hand it back to her. “It’s $9.58.”

Stubby, still perplexed by the technological wonder that is the modern calculator, looks up at me: “But what about the tax?”

Doris then butts in to save our little Stubs. She takes the calculator, punches in the $9.58, multiplies by the tax percent and gives me a total – ten dollars and change.

I hand stubby-wubby a $20. Bewildered again, I told her what my exact change should be. She slowly counted it out.

My two piping-lukewarm EggMc’s arrived somewhere in the next 10 minutes while I watched the stubinator repeat this procedure with an elder gentleman who was only bewildered by Stubby’s lack of synaptic connectors.

I looked over at him. We both smiled. We had shared a special moment.


2 Comments on “I’m Lovin’ It?”

  1. […] Back in June after they resumed dating again but also dating Others. He wrote up a little adventure buying two Egg McMuffin meals and two large coffees. […]


  2. […] Stubby Jr. disappeared behind the wall of bartenders. Waco cursed under her breath. The woman next to me flashed a knowing smile and nod. It said “bitch” in the universal language of people who are too old for this shit. […]


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