DatingPosted: June 7, 2015
The 5K was fun. They refused to be beaten by old people and strollers, and had talked and laughed while they panted.
After, they went to the drag-queen named breakfast spot and sat in the sun. Cornbread pancakes and head-sized biscuits. They talked and eventually he brought up their “status” – he understood they were “communicating” but not “dating” while she processed things.
The conversation continued into the car, briefly interrupted while he pumped the gas, then resumed on the deck.
It wasn’t terrible. There were no tears, no intense emotions. They settled some things: What he needed, what she did as well.
She had never really dated. She wasn’t ready – maybe never will be ready – for the intensity and obligation of a committed relationship. Even with him.
The conversation continued onto the couch, escaping the sear of the sun.
What she wanted, needed, was to explore the waters. Kiss some boys. She cared deeply about him, and wanted him in her life, but she needed this.
He understood and, initially, dating again sounded like a good plan. He missed the constant female attention he had enjoyed and knew he would never receive from her.
They decided to date casually. Each other but others. At least he would get to kiss her again, take her out, have the laughter and smiles.
But casual, in his mind, meant no sex with her. That bothered him. Sex with her was magic. Different and far better than he had ever experienced.
Once they had “settled” things, she laid on his chest on the couch. He held her and kissed the top of her head. She stroked his arm. It felt nice. Intimate. “Can we ‘date with benefits’?” she asked coyly.
He raised her head and kissed her deeply. His tongue found the salty skin of her neck. They went upstairs and made love. Passionately, perfectly.
After, they returned to the deck to talk and smoke like they always did.
“I don’t trust you to really do this” she said. She was smarter than him about things like this. She knew it would be difficult for him to give any other woman a fair hearing. He assured her he would. He couldn’t wait to. “It will be great, for both of us.”
She was confident he would fall for someone else long before she did. His heart was open to love, to relationship now.
They both showered and left. He to have sushi with a friend and her to a girls’ night.
Now, in the sun-blare of a morning, he wondered. Could he do this? He thought about the lyrics to the Arctic Monkeys song she picked as their “soundtrack” months ago when they first started dating:
“Maybe I’m too busy being yours to fall for somebody new.”